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[26 Jan 2006|11:51pm] |
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mood |
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How can you be friends with someone you were never friends with to begin with??
How the hell are you supposed to act, if you never acted as friends?
(im actually asking...this is not a statement)
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| CUBA. |
[07 Jan 2006|07:06pm] |
i dont know where to start.
and i dont believe i can sum up this vacation or even explain how amazing it was,
no words can describe it.
i met the most amazing people,
that i will never forget,
and i will see again.
i made friendships that i never thought
could even exist.
i fell for someone,
and i got a tan! BOOYA!
besides that i drank until i lost my voice,
and then drank some more.
and i got to experience a vacation and an experience most people never get to...
"it doesnt even fucking care"
regina.....WHAT did you just say?
muffin mix.......dolphin dicks??
harder...faster...
in & out..
and theres more...i just wow....
thats all for now...
cause im out to go be with the people i havent seen for a week,
hope everyone else had an amazing break
and if how you spend new years is how you spend the rest of your year...
i am going to have the best year of my life.
shooting stars. faith and fingers crosses laura!!<333
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[19 Dec 2005|03:36pm] |
boys are really starting to seriously upset me...
WHATS WRONG WITH THE MALE RACE?!?!?!
why is everything so fucking difficult and frustrating.
weekend was good...
johnnys on friday=trashed.
my house saturday=trashed
jans house sunday=stoned.
alll goood...=)
PLUS driving school is so much fun with NAVEEEED@!
blondie 1 and 2 representing....
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[13 Dec 2005|02:35pm] |
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keep calling me a slut.
keep calling me a skank.
keep calling me a whore.
keep calling me a bitch.
i LOVE it;
BECAUSE it makes me feel really happy,
and really good, that i made the RIGHT decision NOT to be with you.
so continue on your rampage, i could really give two shits.
and when you say how much you love me,
how much i mean to you,
think of the dirty shit coming out of your mouth.
thats NOT love.
one day i hope you grow out of this,
and i hope you mature into the amazing man i know you can be.
but until that day,
i hope you keep calling me these names,
because itll just remind me everyday of how immature you are,
and how im better off without you.
<33 ill love you forever,
the YOU i once knew,
the YOU i fell in love with,
NOT who YOU your acting like now.
IM SUCH A FUCKING SLUT.
really, i do love the cock.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!
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[10 Dec 2005|05:31pm] |
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mood |
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confused |
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i just don't know nemore....
</3
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[07 Dec 2005|11:48am] |
ive never been so happy.
finally, its taken a while but i think well end up being happy.
cause, "if we get our happy ending it was all worth it..."
right? right.
i know well deal with criticism, and people are going to make a big deal most likely,
but were happy, and thats all that fucking matters.
for the first time today, i felt complete, and i felt comfortable with a guy...
i think deep down, i knew all along this is what i wanted, it just took me a while to realize it.
so im ready for the looks, the back talk, everything.
you can say and do and think whatever you want....
im happy. SO FUCK all the people who make it a big deal.
today, tomorrow, forever.<3
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[06 Dec 2005|03:18pm] |
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its the sparkle in your eye.
its the beat within your cheast.
its the tears running down your cheek.
its the feeling that makes you weak.
its....
its something words cannot describe.
no poem that can recite,
the way you make me feel for you,
its me doing things i never thought id ever do,
its giving your heart,
to somebody you trust,
all the while hoping they wont break it.
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[16 Nov 2005|08:44pm] |
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mood |
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 crappy |
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he's amazing, buttt he has no idea.
so what the fuck am i supposed to do? (people who know what im talking about will understand)
how do you show a guy your interested in them, when you get so nervous around him you dont even know what the fuck to do.
well i know this feeling and....FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!! </3
a la.
shirpa this life...
why must i have emotions?
why must i like boys =( ?
which sounds better?
me and liz....cuba......
me and liz.....dominican.....
i still have not decided.....
(( you make my world spin. you make time stop. you make my heart beat fast. you make me loose my breath))
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[02 Nov 2005|04:34pm] |
you had me at,
"do you have an extra cigarette?"
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[30 Sep 2005|03:23pm] |
okay so...
quitting smoking....
not really working for me.
somebody told me that its only for women who are 35 and older that have a risk.
but A LA.
that just made me not care...
so yeah....
I NEED TO HONESTLY JUST LEAVE FOR A WEEK.
be strapped to a bed, fed food,
and just not allowed to smoke.
its the only way,
im telling you people.
besides that,
OMGOD you are amazing.
i cant ACTUALLY have a whole conversation with you.
no awkwardness.
so yeah, tonite.
dont know what the hells going on.
herd of about...5 parties?
and i have no idea about any of them.
then theres the markham fair that i didnt know was in town,
well in markham persay.
anyways im off/////
"you make me smile with my <3" - kanye west
so people, i ask you this (you dont have to respond)
"WHATS YOUR ADDICTION?"
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[26 Sep 2005|05:16pm] |
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mood |
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 sick |
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okay, so as of tomorrow i have to quit smoking.
my bad habit will be gone.
i just had my last one.
tomorrows going to be hell, but i cannot smoke.
not only has it given me a horrible cough,
the medication im goin on for my face wont let me smoke.
so goodbye smoking.
A LA to you.
hello clear skin....BRAP!:D
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[25 Sep 2005|09:20am] |
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okay so i had a party & i dont even remember my night.
i dont know who was there, all i remember is waking up in my bed,
asking myself..."what the hell happened" wearing the same clothes, and seeing my house was just not a very happy moment in my life. my house was destroyed...but meh, we cleaned it.
Thank you to everybody who helped me.
thank you steve and spence for taking me downstairs away from my bed, over and over again.
wow, what a night.
thank you amy for dressing me.<3
allen, birkland, and kieran....thank you.
if anybody knows who the hell stole my 2nd bottle of wine, please telll me.
like, i have people over and they try to rob me...not cool.
Last night craig had a party, i didnt drink.
cause well, why would i want to?
eeeew alcohol:S.
i have the worst cough so smoking is almost impossible without a great annoyance.
but i managed to make it through the night.
thank you craig for the party.
anyways im off to build an armour...with my mom.
she hasnt noticed the wine yet, and she hasnt found anything so im hoping ill be fine.
" its like when a fantasy gets ruined, your obviously going to be upset."
- c.s.i <<<BRAP!
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[21 Sep 2005|03:11pm] |
its that feeling you get when
you know something wrong.
its the feeling you get when,
you cant express how you feel.
its when that person means so much,
you don't want to scream & fight,
because you just don't see a point.
its when your helpless and confused between what to do,
stand for what you believe in,
agree to disagree,
or cave....
its the feeling that hurts the most.
because its the feeling that runs through your body,
until somethign is resolved.
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[19 Sep 2005|09:10pm] |
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so we sat there
helpless,
not being able to act upon our feelings.
intoxicated by the thought that we wouldnt work out.
sober with the idea however,
that one day we could be together.
but now,
ive fallen
and i cant get back up.
the thought of you is with me,
everyday.
& everynight.
it's like im haunted by you.
nothings ever the same
& nothing ever will be.
we were once, one.
now we are just two helpless souls in love.
who have tried to hate with every bit of strength,
but cant.
because everytime they come back to the beginning again,
when we said i love you,
when you said you cared
when i let you in,
only to be hopelessly fallen in love with somebody,
who doesnt exist.
because i was in love with y o u.
i did fucking care about y o u...
but i look at you now,
& have no clue who it is i see,
i see a stranger.
and that's the reason it will never work,
because were not the same helpless kids in love,
that we once were.
we're too completely different people,
in love with the idea of us.
we're not in love with each other anymore.
we're in love with who we once were.
i'm not in love with you,
and i finally realized that.
im in love with who you were,
and who i see when i look at you.
i'm in love with the idea of what we were.
but i love nothing about you,
now.
because once you break a heart more than three times,
your o u t.
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[19 Sep 2005|03:49pm] |
okay so....today was shitty.
yesterday was shitty...
saturday was even shittier...
my life just seems to be getting shittier and shittier so i made a wish today
and im hoping itll come true...
maybe it wont...i dont know.
but god dammit PLEASE JUST GIVE ME SOME GOOD LUCK!!!!
it hurts when nobody can see the inside and you have to fake it from the outside.
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[16 Sep 2005|07:20pm] |
have you ever thought about something you gave up long ago?
something that maybe you shouldnt had given up.
just because you know the likely hood of finding anything that slightly compares is low, and that anybody else just wont seem to do.
its like every person disappoints you in some way.
its like nobody can do it the way that person did.
its like you keep trying, and you keep looking but somehow you always end up with your heart broken.
most of the time it doesnt work out.
and most of the time you'll think something great might happen only to be FURTHER disappointed by the outcome of that.
i just dont understand how and when relationships became so complicated.
please leave comments and telll me how this came to happen?
its like everyone i talk to, has something bad to say about another person.
who's there friend?
its like every relationship going on is so dramatic and complicated.
A-GAHHHH!
i just dont understand when people started confusing having sex and being in love, or kissing somebody only to dump them a day later.
the world is messed up people.
and life sucks.
jan asked me a question today.
it took me forever to anwser,
now its time for everyone to try.
"would you rather had been born, or never been born?"
so everybody at this point in your life, how would you have it?
every possible shitty thing thats happened to you, is it worth it?
jannice gallen is a smart girl and im so fucking proud that i can call her my best friend.
PEACE PEOPLE!
oh and you wont know who this is directed to but...
FUCK YOU. you. are a liar.
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[07 Sep 2005|04:13pm] |
Joey sent me a poem on msn that he made me cause i was having a bad day....thank you joey:) u cheered me up!!!:D
Shannon Mitchell has a pretty smile
But today she was wore a frown
To change her schedule would take a while
School was putting her down
But then she saw a beautiful man
She knew as Joey, without a doubt
He walked her outside and asked this girl
How he could help her out
She explained her problem
And how she had a bad day
So Joey thought…
Then began to say,
That’s a cute necklace
Don’t worry about the wait
The last thing you need today
Is any more hate
You’ll change the schedule
And when you get home
Take a long bath
With lots of bubbles and foam
Then make yourself dinner
Or call for pizza
If you’re still upset
We can have a fiesta
All I want to tell you
As a very happy man
Is that you should never get upset
When shit hits the fan
So I’m always here
Call me ANYTIME you’d like
We can go for a walk
Or maybe ride bikes
So Shannon, my darling
You light up my day
And that’s why I love you
I hope this makes your day:)
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[04 Sep 2005|11:39pm] |
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"jan..we are going to RIIIIIIIIIIIP IT through life"
-me.
janice.......laughs.
tonight was fun.
happy early birthday vicki.
i hope you have a better morning and NO hangover = )
chrissy...i love you.<3
two-way biking it, falls, late night session, "watch this" *zzzzzzzoooooommmm*
ouch my ears.
my bag<3. i dont care what you say...i love it.
so yeah...
happy end of summer everybody.
summer 05' best of my life.
BRAP.
baller countdown = 1 day
"i thought it said mom, but its just wierd symbols...'
-cox.<3
-------
"yo guys, if we get booked....does anybody have i.d on them?"
-cox
"not even, im gonna be....laurie thompson"
-jan
"yeah...i have my student card but i can just say its my friends..."
-meg
*looks at megan with odd expression*
"your student card has a picture of YOU on it..."
-shan
"oh yeah..."
-meg
i fucking love you all.
miss shayna:(
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[03 Sep 2005|12:04am] |
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mood |
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crushed |
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okay so...wow tonite..just wow.
so i realised that i have to smarten up.
i cant deal with ppl i care about thinking im somebody thats not a good influence.
im sorry from the bottom of my heart i am.
and i am going to prove to you that i am a good kid still...
in some ways.
tonite was good/bad.
all in many ways.
last weekend before school.
a weekend im gonna remember forever.
this is so bad, i hate this and im sorry.
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
you have no idea how much you mean to me.
you know who you are and i hope you feel better.
i hope i can make it up to your family and show them i can be the person i once was.
i love you to death.
saw shayna tonite...
i miss her.
sometimes i wish we could just be the fourquad again like, dammmn.
i miss you shayna.
come home...:(
<3
-----------------
as for you.
well you just amaze me.
brap.
you rock.
-shan.
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| dammmmmn. |
[31 Aug 2005|10:16am] |
so i went to registration.
saw everybody.
but ive seen most of them all summer so it was no big whooop.
me and marko have nothing together..he said hed switch all his stuff around...(haha lies) brap!
me and jan have our first class together..............ever.
after being friends for 5 years....first class....ever.
wierd.
so heres the classes i wont be attending next year. (haha just kidding..)
peer tutoring/ leadership.
anthropology/sociology/psychology.
travel and tourism (might switch to auto tech tho)
LUNCH with janice and courtney ( j- "court, what lunch do you have.?", c- "4th.what about you?", j- "4th.....", j&c - "BLAAAAAAAAAAZZZZZZZZING!!!!!!!")
*fucking love you both*
so yeah, then i have hair and esthetics. brap.
such an easy semester....honestly.
2nd semester...
co-ed gym.
LUNCH. <--what the fuck is that?
english.
math.
DRAMA.
megan....we will be RIPPPING drama
so yeah that is that.
but besides that, me jan n meg planned a bush party the other day.
it was so last minute and we randomly just called people and said...."come. bring people"
holy shit, mad people showed up.
it was fun.
got to see everybody who i havent really seen like sarah, amy , steph, mitch, plus i met some people i never knew before.
it was awesome.
all in all, good last week so far of summer.
but only going to get better.
<3 shan.
BALLLER COUNTDOWN IN 6DAYS.
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